Rachel: I'm gonna shove popcorn down your throat until you die
Rachel: baugh to me: *looks at sunglasses* do you have...an eye problem?
Lauren: Jewish Cosmic Zombie?
Lauren: I would love to own a Canadian. Preferably Michael Buble' or Justin Bieber. Buble' for the obvious reason, Bieber so I can exploit him and take all his money
Lauren: Future phone call to rachel: "Hey, my baby is stuck in an oven, what kinds of food does it like? I'm trying to coax it out ."
Rachel: I know I need a pet llama. I have considered stealing one of the ones in that huge field on M45 numerous times.
Lauren: Next time we can take one! We can put him in the back with Joel Saukas and feed him oreos and candy bars. We can open the window and let him bask in the breeze like a dog. You can take pictures of people's faces when they notice there's a llama hanging out the window of my car. We could take him to work with us.
Rachel: we can travel about GH with it and take pictures like it's a souvenir. kind of like those people that stole a flamingo stick from their neighbor's yard and took it around Europe with them, except ours is infinitely cooler. why a fake flamingo when you can have a real llama?
Lauren:wtf is a purrum?
Rachel: well it sounds like a mushroom but i think it's just a sound.
Lauren: I am an expert on unexplained sounds
Lauren: It's like when people sell cats on craigs list. They describe the cat as docile, friendly and loves people. But in reality it's a rabid, devil-spawned fur ball.
Rachel: Lauren Showers and I are going Rambo for the Campus Apocalypse. It is happening. We will have nerf guns. And we will be veterans.
Rachel: well Christopher conjectured that I was trying to kiss a stove. But really I just bit into a hot ravioli :(
Lauren: I shall forever judge you for kissing a stove
Rachel: mmm babygirl! i know you be diggin' on the sequined suspenders"
Rachel: so we have several Hawaiians, what appears to be a yankee soldier, a jane austen wannabe, and the last one it is not in my power to understand.
Lauren: I believe that is a hot dog suit, you are what you eat I supposse
Rachel: NOT UP IN HERE!.... NOT.UP.IN.HERE.
Rachel: oh, you have the same bag I do! We're sisters!
Rachel: I have prom night stuck in my head with the cement-like paste that glue eating boys snack on. CURSES
Rachel: I was like, her name is Lauren Showers? She's totally going to be a snob.
Lauren: And after reading Rachel Feringa, I thought 'she's going to be a crazy ginger'.
Lauren: I don't work until Sunday. Which means that Tuesday - Saturday I will either be at the beach or in Mitch's pool. If you aren't working any of those days and want to be a pool rat, text me. I also don't know if "pool rat" is an actual term or if it only applies to hoods.
Rachel: I mean, what kind of vision do you get when you think of pool rats?
Lauren: Someone who lingers around a sanitized body of water on extremely hot days, wearing a bathing suit of course
Rachel: WE ARE THE NUB CLUB!!!!!!!!
Lauren: I'm convinced this is the best map ever and i've decided to show it off on your facebook. Or you could use map quest. That may be more accurate and less confusing if you're bad with directions I however, cannot guarantee map quest will provide you with the same quality of artwork of which I have provided here. —
Lauren: "You're prettier than Cinderella, you smell like pine needles and your face is brighter than sunshine"
Lauren: Meine Hand ist ein Delphin
Rachel: I translated that ALL BY MYSELF. there is no mistaking MY HAND IS A DOLPHIN!!!!
Lauren: There are hoodrats outside stirring up a rather loud ruckus!!! I'm not sure wether to be annoyed or join them lol
Rachel: paint your face and join them!
Rachel: start a fire in a grill and dance around it
Lauren: I think you're confusing me with Ke$ha
Rachel: question on my bio exam: What did we learn about sea otters liking sea urchins? The answer was obviously that the otter acts as a keystone species, keeping the population of sea urchins down to a manageable level. But I was so tempted to answer that sea urchins were sexy and the otters wanted to date them.
Lauren: omg if your legs are on fire that means you might end up with....NUBS
Rachel: nubs for legs! nubs for legs!! no no no no!!
Lauren: it almost sounds like a song!
Rachel: if you say "beer can" in an English accent, it sounds like you're saying "bacon" in a Jamaican accent
Rachel: fly away, my butterflies, fly away! fly away fly away! dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin dancin
Lauren: I like how on youtube it says (dancin' x times) It takes a mathematical equation to determine how many times rebecca black repeats something. Although I doubt it says this when she reads the lyrics while recording due to the fact she's 13 and probably can't do math
Rachel: Come here, little girl... *in creepy russian accent*
Rachel: heyyy rebeccaaa :)
Lauren: I can't tell whats going on here. Either they're both obese, or the girl is pregnant and the guy is obese, they're both pregnant, or the man is pregnant and the lady is obese. one thing is for certain, the photographer has a sick sense of humor/vision of art.
Rachel: either the photographer does or they are paying him a lot of money and he went and puked in the trash after taking this
Lauren: You're a true hood rat! You look like you've seen your fair share of back alley fights this weekend
Rachel: I've been telling everyone that I got into a bar fight to see who believes me and who calls me out.
Rachel: I am convinced my right foot is larger than my left foot
Lauren: You're just a natural born freak
Rachel: what am i gonna do!!!???
Lauren: Reconstructive surgery is always an option
Rachel: it's thursday thursday workin the desk on thursday work work work work work
Lauren: these outfits scream "I'm a dancer, I'm armed with jazz hands and brightly colored spandex bodysuits and I'm ready to party"
Rachel: "heavy on the 'ready to party'"
Rachel : "Apparently Michael Bublé has met her. She has come out of nowhere and into his life and she's gonna make him work so they can work to work it out. Because he promised her that he'd give so much more than he'd get."
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