Friday, March 2, 2012

March 2, 2012

Rachel: Met hot guy in PSC department. Am very skeptical. This must be a hoax.
Lauren: One other than MG? Do you need to borrow my glasses?
Rachel: YES! he came in to borrow a stapler. And asked me how my day was going. And actually listened to my answer.
Lauren: WOW....you should have said "sir, in order to use our stapler you must leave your phone number on file"
Rachel: on file in my cellphone...
bad news though, I panicked and coughed a lot because of his attractiveness


Lauren: Hoodrats know no home. They only know streets.
Rachel:+1 for correct usage of know and no in order. You know grammar. I love that about you


Lauren: ‎...and so it was decreed that one day, Lauren and Rachel would one day hold the key to all the secrets in the universe. One does not simply earn this right.
I really just felt like saying something badass.
Rachel: And that one day...is today. 
(read in Patrick Warburton's voice)
Lauren: So we set forth to prosper and conquer through the snow and ice...
Rachel: Though our eyes watered from the wind so we had to wear sunglasses, we persevered in our pursuit of answers.
Lauren: Answers, to our questions. Why is the sky is blue? Why are the dinosaurs extinct? Where do babies come from?
Rachel: NO. no. Scratch that last question, I don't want to know
Lauren:....They sailed the seas in search of the Loch Ness monster.
Rachel: Nessie! She's in the lake at John Ball Zoo.
Lauren:In the arab lands they encountered a mean monster who called himself Sean.
Rachel:He came from a long line of Martinezes...or something like that.
LaurenHe claimed to own the land that was promised to the two young adventurers. Therefore, they summoned their army of battle unicorns.
Rachel: They used said unicorns against Sean. The attack was highly effective. Sean was banished to a land where sun, flip flops, and palm trees did not exist. Namely, Siberia.
Lauren: Twas not a difficult battle. The monster was used to going into battle inebriated. However, on this fateful day, the monster had given up his love of moonshine and spirits in order to appease the bearded man they called Jesus. He was easily defeated.
 Rachel: Lauren and Rachel rejoiced with much Taco Bell and cookie dough. "Cheesy Fiesta potatoes for all!" they cried. They took mercy on the Sean and packed a picnic of their leftovers for his trip up to no-man's-land.
Lauren: ‎"Banished!" said Lauren and Rachel." Forever must you occupy the ice lands of Siberia." Sean happily agreed to this request, for Russia was known for their alcoholic cocktails and scantily clad mail ordered brides
Rachel: All it took was one "You vant vodka, no?" and Sean experienced that most sweet and powerful emotion: lust. Meanwhile, Rachel and Lauren prepared for their upcoming journey to the city they call Windy.

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