Monday, June 18, 2012
June 18th, 2012
*Lady awkwardly nuzzling the back of some guy's neck downtown.*
Rachel: "Looks like she's eating him..Should I yell 'Bath salts!' and run away?"
Rachel: "It's just I'm just saying is all..."
Lauren: "What does that even mean?"
Rachel: "Lauren, you said you were going to stop doing that. We high fived..."
Lauren: "Yeah, like 20 mins ago.."
Rachel: "But we high fived."
Rachel: "I was going to offer to call, but since you're awkward on the phone you get to call."
Lauren: "It's going to be insane because you, me, and Megan are all single this year."
Rachel: "Yeah, it will be like the desperate apartment-wives of Westpoint."
Rachel: "I'm going to get you to get a piercing, even if it means tranquilizing you."
Lauren: "So I was in the middle of my story and she just interrupts and says 'Look, my elbow is burnt.' who does that?"
Rachel: I would've said 'I'm sorry about your elbow but here's my fist in your face.'"
Saturday, June 2, 2012
June 2nd, 2012
Rachel: Boys are dumb.
Lauren: They better figure their shit out soon or else we're destined to live together forever and the universe will surely implode.
Rachel: That is the damn truth.
Lauren: Damn, it feels good to be a gangster.
Rachel: Yeah, you definitely have to know how to watch your back in these suburban child watch communities of ours.
Lauren: They better figure their shit out soon or else we're destined to live together forever and the universe will surely implode.
Rachel: That is the damn truth.
Lauren: Damn, it feels good to be a gangster.
Rachel: Yeah, you definitely have to know how to watch your back in these suburban child watch communities of ours.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
April 26, 2012
Rachel: "This guy's last name is smeeeeeegal!"
Lauren: "#funkasaurus is trending. I don't know what that is, but it sounds like a party."
Lauren: "Look what I found in JH's office!!!!" *Holds up giant crucifix*
Rachel: "What?"
Lauren: "In Nomine Patris, et filli, et Spiritus sancti!!!!"
Lauren: "#funkasaurus is trending. I don't know what that is, but it sounds like a party."
Lauren: "Look what I found in JH's office!!!!" *Holds up giant crucifix*
Rachel: "What?"
Lauren: "In Nomine Patris, et filli, et Spiritus sancti!!!!"
Thursday, April 19, 2012
April 19, 2012
***Names have been changed to preserve whatever shred of dignity the discussed persons have left.
Lauren: Does [Professor Whirly-tits] think he's like a Hollister model? Will we be seeing a half-naked [Professor Whirly-tits] on our shopping bags for their Spring collection?
Lauren: Does [Professor Whirly-tits] think he's like a Hollister model? Will we be seeing a half-naked [Professor Whirly-tits] on our shopping bags for their Spring collection?
Lauren: Have you ever wondered if the reason the world is ending in December is because we're going to be living together and the universe will most likely implode?
Rachel: "Finnick is Our Sexy Sugarcubes Boy" is trending on twitter. Best.Topic.Ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rachel: was seriously considering pinning a picture of shirtless Italian soccer players to my "r&l apartment" board on pinterest. I thought they could sleep on the deck..
Lauren: Or inside...we do have a futon and from what I've gathered we're pretty good cooks as well. Shirtless Italian soccer players outside < shirtless Italian soccer players inside. Plus, why would we want them on the porch for everyone else to look at?
Rachel: All good points. Inside it is.
Rachel: somewhat cute boy taking a test in PSC this morning. problem: he smells. Just my luck.
Lauren: I hate that. What happened to proper hygiene. Have guys not jumped on the hair conditioner and body wash train yet?There is a reason to why these things exist.
Rachel: it's called: GIRLS ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO THE STANK.
Lauren: I think Prince Eric is a sexy beast.
Rachel: If Prince Phillip was real I would date him so hard and marry the shit out of him.
Monday, April 2, 2012
April 2nd, 2012
Rachel: I'm here til one simultaneously brainstorming for my anthropological critical approach to The House of Mirth and entering names in the database. Translation: party.
Lauren: I can help you brainstorm!!!! Translation: shenanigans.
Rachel: http://imgur.com/gallery/DUpsH us someday when we have families. Or rather, when you have a happy, well-adjusted family and invite me to be in pictures because I am pathetically forever alone.
Lauren: This is fantastc! Don't worry, I already plan on you living with me until we die.
Rachel: It's awkward though because I got that from the profile of "Peeta's Fake Leg" on twitter.
Lauren: You need to grow a beard and develop a bad habit so I can tote you around as my best friend, Haymitch.
Rachel: Give me a few years before I'm your alcoholic accessory.
Lauren: Alrighty! What glorious adventure shall we embark upon?
Rachel: no idea. preferably something that is free. I am poor.
Lauren: We could pillage and burn CMU.
Rachel: Right about now that sounds absolutely fantastic. while we're at it let's find out where they keep a stash of money and take it al.
Lauren: I hear they have underground tunnels. I bet that's where the hipster professors hangout.
Rachel: (Expressing her desire to work at Coldstone) I would sing and tap dance the shit out of that place.
Lauren: I can help you brainstorm!!!! Translation: shenanigans.
Rachel: http://imgur.com/gallery/DUpsH us someday when we have families. Or rather, when you have a happy, well-adjusted family and invite me to be in pictures because I am pathetically forever alone.
Lauren: This is fantastc! Don't worry, I already plan on you living with me until we die.
Rachel: It's awkward though because I got that from the profile of "Peeta's Fake Leg" on twitter.
Lauren: You need to grow a beard and develop a bad habit so I can tote you around as my best friend, Haymitch.
Rachel: Give me a few years before I'm your alcoholic accessory.
Lauren: Alrighty! What glorious adventure shall we embark upon?
Rachel: no idea. preferably something that is free. I am poor.
Lauren: We could pillage and burn CMU.
Rachel: Right about now that sounds absolutely fantastic. while we're at it let's find out where they keep a stash of money and take it al.
Lauren: I hear they have underground tunnels. I bet that's where the hipster professors hangout.
Rachel: (Expressing her desire to work at Coldstone) I would sing and tap dance the shit out of that place.
Friday, March 9, 2012
March 9th, 2012
Rachel and Lauren's Spring Break in Chicago!
Rachel: "I think the front desk guy thought our backpacks and shopping bags were all of our luggage."
Lauren: "It's funny, because we're females. One does not simply pack one suitcase."
Rachel: "so close, and yet so far"
Lauren: "kind of like Lady Gaga and our pizza"
At IKEA:
Rachel: "What are these things? They look violent."
Lauren: "We'll get them for our apartment, to beat houseguests who get unruly."
Rachel: "I think the front desk guy thought our backpacks and shopping bags were all of our luggage."
Lauren: "It's funny, because we're females. One does not simply pack one suitcase."
Rachel: "so close, and yet so far"
Lauren: "kind of like Lady Gaga and our pizza"
At IKEA:
Rachel: "What are these things? They look violent."
Lauren: "We'll get them for our apartment, to beat houseguests who get unruly."
Friday, March 2, 2012
March 2, 2012
Rachel: Met hot guy in PSC department. Am very skeptical. This must be a hoax.
Lauren: Hoodrats know no home. They only know streets.
Rachel:+1 for correct usage of know and no in order. You know grammar. I love that about you
Lauren: ...and so it was decreed that one day, Lauren and Rachel would one day hold the key to all the secrets in the universe. One does not simply earn this right.
I really just felt like saying something badass.
Rachel: And that one day...is today.
(read in Patrick Warburton's voice)
Lauren: So we set forth to prosper and conquer through the snow and ice...
Rachel: Though our eyes watered from the wind so we had to wear sunglasses, we persevered in our pursuit of answers.
Lauren: Answers, to our questions. Why is the sky is blue? Why are the dinosaurs extinct? Where do babies come from?
Rachel: NO. no. Scratch that last question, I don't want to know
Lauren:....They sailed the seas in search of the Loch Ness monster.
Rachel: Nessie! She's in the lake at John Ball Zoo.
Lauren:In the arab lands they encountered a mean monster who called himself Sean.
Rachel:He came from a long line of Martinezes...or something like that.
Lauren: He claimed to own the land that was promised to the two young adventurers. Therefore, they summoned their army of battle unicorns.
Rachel: They used said unicorns against Sean. The attack was highly effective. Sean was banished to a land where sun, flip flops, and palm trees did not exist. Namely, Siberia.
Lauren: Twas not a difficult battle. The monster was used to going into battle inebriated. However, on this fateful day, the monster had given up his love of moonshine and spirits in order to appease the bearded man they called Jesus. He was easily defeated.
Rachel: Lauren and Rachel rejoiced with much Taco Bell and cookie dough. "Cheesy Fiesta potatoes for all!" they cried. They took mercy on the Sean and packed a picnic of their leftovers for his trip up to no-man's-land.
Lauren: "Banished!" said Lauren and Rachel." Forever must you occupy the ice lands of Siberia." Sean happily agreed to this request, for Russia was known for their alcoholic cocktails and scantily clad mail ordered brides
Rachel: All it took was one "You vant vodka, no?" and Sean experienced that most sweet and powerful emotion: lust. Meanwhile, Rachel and Lauren prepared for their upcoming journey to the city they call Windy.
Lauren: One other than MG? Do you need to borrow my glasses?
Rachel: YES! he came in to borrow a stapler. And asked me how my day was going. And actually listened to my answer.
Lauren: WOW....you should have said "sir, in order to use our stapler you must leave your phone number on file"
Rachel: on file in my cellphone...
bad news though, I panicked and coughed a lot because of his attractiveness
bad news though, I panicked and coughed a lot because of his attractiveness
Lauren: Hoodrats know no home. They only know streets.
Rachel:+1 for correct usage of know and no in order. You know grammar. I love that about you
Lauren: ...and so it was decreed that one day, Lauren and Rachel would one day hold the key to all the secrets in the universe. One does not simply earn this right.
I really just felt like saying something badass.
Rachel: And that one day...is today.
(read in Patrick Warburton's voice)
Lauren: So we set forth to prosper and conquer through the snow and ice...
Rachel: Though our eyes watered from the wind so we had to wear sunglasses, we persevered in our pursuit of answers.
Lauren: Answers, to our questions. Why is the sky is blue? Why are the dinosaurs extinct? Where do babies come from?
Rachel: NO. no. Scratch that last question, I don't want to know
Lauren:....They sailed the seas in search of the Loch Ness monster.
Rachel: Nessie! She's in the lake at John Ball Zoo.
Lauren:In the arab lands they encountered a mean monster who called himself Sean.
Rachel:He came from a long line of Martinezes...or something like that.
Lauren: He claimed to own the land that was promised to the two young adventurers. Therefore, they summoned their army of battle unicorns.
Rachel: They used said unicorns against Sean. The attack was highly effective. Sean was banished to a land where sun, flip flops, and palm trees did not exist. Namely, Siberia.
Lauren: Twas not a difficult battle. The monster was used to going into battle inebriated. However, on this fateful day, the monster had given up his love of moonshine and spirits in order to appease the bearded man they called Jesus. He was easily defeated.
Rachel: Lauren and Rachel rejoiced with much Taco Bell and cookie dough. "Cheesy Fiesta potatoes for all!" they cried. They took mercy on the Sean and packed a picnic of their leftovers for his trip up to no-man's-land.
Lauren: "Banished!" said Lauren and Rachel." Forever must you occupy the ice lands of Siberia." Sean happily agreed to this request, for Russia was known for their alcoholic cocktails and scantily clad mail ordered brides
Rachel: All it took was one "You vant vodka, no?" and Sean experienced that most sweet and powerful emotion: lust. Meanwhile, Rachel and Lauren prepared for their upcoming journey to the city they call Windy.
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